i have been doing a lot of thinking and less gloating.
i am finding it easy to let go of just about anything - a person, a grudge, an obsession...
i'm getting scared of not being able to know how to hold on to what really matters
and even more scared of not being able to know who really matters
i am getting more comfortable in my own skin which is even more scary than not knowing what to do and being tacky and not knowing which fork to use...
i don't even get jealous of happy couples anymore
i find selling over-priced roses on valentines day better than finding a date
i have found myself too many times thinking of trying all the things i didn't even deem worth my time or my presence
i am starting not to care
but i AM also starting to care.
have i turned jaded? have i totally convinced myself i AM really invincible? or am i really getting old?
i went to bed 19 and woke up 35. kafkaish.